| the blog of human failure
Hello to everyone for possibly the first time. We have just been linked from the main page so this might be the first Blog of Human Failure post that anybody actually reads. As long as I’m speaking directly to you I’d like to get my salutations out of the way. Welcome and welcome again to EmptyBeanie.com, an internet experience that exceeds all challengers in providing you with a breathtaking Web 2.0 experience. “What is Web 2.0,” you ask? Why don’t we type Web 2.0 into Wikipedia and find out! Hmm, noted person from the Wikipedia article I just read, Dario de Judicibus, suggests this definition: “Web 2.0 is a knowledge-oriented environment where human interactions generate content that is published, managed and used through network applications in a service-oriented architecture.” Well, you’d have to be a moron to not understand what that means so I think we’re all comfortable moving on.
Like our friend Dario says, Empty Beanie is here to create a knowledge-oriented environment. Take this for example: Recently a man in Kokomo, Indiana, while attempting to rob a convenience store, accidentally and without being provoked, shot himself in the genitals. Local responding officer Lt. Don Whitehead reported that when he got to the scene, “The dreamy look in his eye gave me a tropical contact high.” Now name another environment that would orient you with that knowledge. Whatever you’re naming right now is a lie and you know it. And even if what you say is true, and another site does have that information posted, well I can guarantee you that their architecture isn’t service oriented. Their architecture is probably oriented by their astrological sign or maybe sexually-oriented or located in the Orient which might not be a term anymore. What I’m trying to impress upon you is that I.M. Pei and Frank Lloyd Wright really busted their mittens making our architecture service-oriented as well as ergonomic, which is why your chair feels so comfortable while you read this.
Have we discussed our network applications that help human interactions generate content? We have a board where you can post humorous videos and stories that you find on the internet, whether they be from newspapers, blogs, or just a funny paragraph on a website. Then, in order to provide maximum human interaction, we dug up the decomposed body of Thomas Paine and shoved his skull and brain into a network application in order to assure the purest form of democracy available on the internet today. Web 1.0 assumes that you’re a humorless nitwit and if they could they would take your computer away from you and give it to General Cornwallis so he could play Warcraft on it with King George III. Empty Beanie, on the other hand, lets human interactions generate content. I can’t stress enough how rare human interactions are. Take this story for instance, ripped from the headlines here at Empty Beanie: “A Tennessee man confessed to using his computer to counterfeit $100 bills to pay strippers at a club in Nashville, it was reported Sunday.” This is a beautiful story, where we can presume that some good old fashion “human interaction” allowed a room full of Tennessee strippers to help a lonely man “generate content.” The least I can do is promise that if you hang around Empty Beanie long enough, the same will happen to you.
Have fun. We can’t wait to publish, manage and use you.
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