| the blog of human failure
Just last Thursday a man called the police in Washington State reporting that he himself was drunk driving. The 911 operator got his location and then told him to pull over to the side of the road and wait to sober up before he continued to drive. The man pulled over and being the backstabbers that they are, the 911 operator informed the police of the man’s situation and they went to arrest him where he was, pulled over to the side of the road like he was told to.
Shouldn’t there be some things in life that if you admit to doing them before you’re caught you should be able to get off of the hook for? Remember when you’d play capture the flag in elementary school? There was that tree that served as your “base” or “safe zone” and if you were touching that tree it didn’t matter if you got tagged, you didn’t have to go to “jail” on the opponent’s side of the field. That’s what admitting to certain wrongdoings before you’re caught should be like.
There would of course have to be a statute of limitations that would give the other side a certain amount of time to hunt for you, but if they couldn’t catch you in that amount of time you couldn’t receive any punishment. In fact, you should even be able to gloat in their face because you won the game fair and square.
“Honey, I need to tell you that I cheated on you. Too bad for you it was exactly two months ago this day. In your face sucker; you still have to love me.”
“Boss, I want to let you know that I stole the copy machine from the Pittsburg office. Too bad for you it was last week. Whether you like it or not you still have to employ me. Also I had sex with your wife.”
And so on.
Now those are fictional but really only because of their timelines. If you cheated on your wife 50 years ago, and then tell her, shouldn’t you be excused? Well, maybe not excused, but at least pardoned? After all it was so long ago. If you’ve been employed with a company for 35 years and now you’re the president, but when they originally hired you to be the mail room boy you lied about what college you went to, shouldn’t you be excused if you come forward? It reflects so little on your current position.
In New Orleans I remember the statute of limitations was 10 years for traffic tickets. If they didn’t catch you in that long then you could go right up to a cop and throw your traffic ticket in his face and do a little merry jig. I suggest going to New Orleans and trying this: it’s most fun if you’re drunk. But what about a thing that you can admit to almost as you’re doing it and still get away with it because you admitted it before they caught you doing it? Is it borrowing a pen? Is it borrowing a car? What’s the biggest thing you can get away with without getting in trouble just because you admit to doing it before you get caught?
What’s the biggest thing you’ve gotten away with personally?
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I would like to admit in advance to having sex with your wife in the year 2027.
Comment by Kelly — May 26, 2008 #
I just torched a building full of children. But don’t worry I am admitting to it and therefore cognizant of the fact that it is wrong so no punishment needed.
Oh and in the biz we prefer to refer to it as “organizing” not borrowing. Just a little connotation that thieves and larcenists prefer…
Comment by Rpezman24 — May 27, 2008 #
I used a fake name and email address when posting this comment. Please don’t hunt me down. It was the Spam that made me do it!
Comment by Agnes — May 27, 2008 #