| the blog of human failure
Buenes Noches de Madrid. I´m back to pay internet but I´ve got 24 minutes left on this Euro and no one over my shoulder so we can certainly take our time if we want to. But I´m going to type at my normal comforable pace regardless. Let´s get crackin´.
Funny Things About Barcelona:
1) I´m not talking about mullets here. You´re looking at a guy from the front and he looks perfectly normal. Maybe he has a neatly trimmed goatie, a short hair cut with tight sideburns and then he turns around and -Bam- rat tail! Six inches, eight inches. What a thrill. Twelve inches.
2) Yes, he has a nose ring, she has a nose ring. Whatever, I´m over it.
3) In Figueres, a town outside of Barcelona, there is a 15 meter long metal statue of a heroin spoon created by Salvador Dali. It´s just sitting there on the street. In fairness my Spanish isn´t great, so it could be a heroine´s spoon, but what are the odds?
4) San Miguel is a tasty beer and that´s that.
5) Well I´m in Spain so all of the street signs and instructions will finally be Spanish right? What´s this about Catalan? Well fuck me then.
6) And if you think Catalan and Spanish would be almost the same, you have no idea. For instance in Spanish, the word for the number four is ¨quatro¨, where as in Catalan, it´s ¨oingo-boingo¨.
7) But seriously, you don´t know what a relief it is to say, ¨¿Que derecion es el Metro?¨and not get looked at like an asshole. You wouldn´t be suprised how few times that worked in Paris.
8 ) Every other window has a giant petrified pig´s leg in it. Appetizing.
9) It´s about time. How long does a brother go to be in Europe before he sees some topless sunbathers? Barcelona delivers.
10) If they have pictures of the food on the menu, you´re not going to have a good meal. You think I would know this is an international rule, but you´re forgetting I´m a moron.
11) I know I´m probably the millionth guy to say this, but Gaudi is right. Yech.
12) These people look suspiciously like Puerto Ricans and Cubans. Something is going on here.
13) Black people speaking Spanish. I´m on board; sign me up.
14) 1.10 Euro for a Coca-Cola light. Ahh, refresco! Welcome back to civilization.
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