| the blog of human failure
Alright I got 13 minutes and a crap metal keyboard. Bon jour from Paris. Let’s do this.
Funny Things About Munich:
1) There’s something gloomy about this suburb Dachau but I just can’t put my finger on it. Zing-zow.
2) I was sitting at a beer garden and this middle aged German lady tried to share her salad with me. Now that’s hospitaliano!
3) I was riding on the subway and I noticed something. I don’t mean a lot of people have blue eyes. Everyone has blue eyes.
4) Wow, these Munich girls are nothing special. What was Hitler talking about?
5) If you don’t speak German, you can’t sneak into a cocktail party at the BMW Museum, even if you take out your headphones and tuck in your shirt. I can’t stress this point enough.
6) When a Japanese guy and an American guy get drunk together in Germany, no one’s going to understand what anyone is saying very quickly. Thank god his dictionary has both sixty-nine and The Holmstead Act in it. We’ll never reach their level of technological innovation until our dictionaries are equally sophisticated. As an aside, see how many sentances you can make using both sixty-nine and The Holmstead Act. You’ll come up with some pretty startling combinations.
7) There would be no English/German communication without the thumbs up.
8 ) The most effective language for a homeless person to yell at you at is German. Unless he wants money.
9) These people are missing the Deutchmark. I can sense it.
10) A basket of free soft pretzels with your beer.
11) Ha, solar panels. There’s no electricity up there my friends. Strike two.
12) There’s only so many times I can say no to shnitzel. I’m only a man.
13) Alright, 2.75 Euro for a Coca-Cola light? I’m getting the fuck out of here.
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