| the blog of human failure
Bark looks like something you should be able to eat, but you can’t and that makes me upset.
You always think that the sun is shining too bright and you’ll go and lie under a tree to get some shade, but then as time moves on you realize your legs are getting hot and you come to find out the tree isn’t shading you any more. That could be blamed on the sun, but the tree is complicit.
When you look at a tree, they look like they would be so much fun to climb, but when you go through all the effort and finally get to the top it’s never very satisfying. Also it’s scary to climb back down.
20 years ago there was all this hype about how destroying the rainforest was going to ruin the planet. Now everybody has transferred that worry over to global warming and nobody ever mentions the rainforest anymore. Obviously it didn’t matter in the first place.
It looks like it would be rewarding to kick a tree, but you can never get a good angle on it and it doesn’t make a fun noise.
The fruit is too high and when it falls down by itself it’s no good anymore.
You have a tree blocking your view so you hire a guy to cut it down for you. The problem is that there’s still this stump sticking out of the ground to trip on. “Oh, we don’t do stumps; that’s another guy.” Geez.
They fall on power lines and knock out electricity. That’s a fact.
Most dangerous jungle cats climb trees. You’re not safe up there.
Their roots soak up the water we would otherwise be licking off of the ground.
Name one thing metal and plastic don’t do better.
God told Adam and Ever that if they ate from the Tree of Knowledge they would surely die, but then they did and they didn’t die. A tree made a liar out of God.
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Trackback by FREDRICK — September 8, 2010 #